Frazzled + Dazzled
Frazzled & Dazzled - A Tale of a Busy Mum Who CRAVED Much Needed Me-Time
I just finished reading Frazzled by Ruby Wax, and while not all of it was on my wavelength a few things really resonated. One in particular: if you look after yourself, you will be better at looking after others. Easy peasy, except it’s not, is it?
Me-time & self-care as a parent is hard!
Beyond the gym and regular maintenance trips to get a wax, how do you look after yourself? (And come on, let’s face it, waxing really is short-changing the whole ‘me time’ vibe. Despite being 'mindful' of the burning hot wax and each and every hair being ripped from very intimate places, it's hardly relaxing.)
It’s not easy to justify spending money on yourself over your kids. It’s challenging to carve out the time - especially when if it’s a non-work day. There's that nagging feeling that you really should be interacting face to face with your kids while playing multiple games of hide and seek...and then there's the guilt of the bank balance...
Conversations beyond children: sometimes Mother's Groups can only take you so far
Mother’s Groups are great for the emotional wellbeing and building your network for supportive friends. But what happens when you want something more than conversations about the kiddos. Honestly, I can remember having a full blown half hour conversation on the benefits of Pampers over Huggies. I look back now and slightly shudder. It was important then. I really didn’t want that newborn poo-nami up the back of the onesie! But I craved a bit of adult time and adult conversation. Except I couldn’t have any, because I did NOTHING else except look after the kids; provide a taxi service, meal plan, food shop and organise the social lives of the kids. I had become a bit of an empty shell. A mum on the outside with a grey mix of mush in the middle (you know the colour that Play Doh turns if the kids mix them all together, even though you’ve tried to set up colour gates to stop the infiltration of colours merging).
Gradually I started exploring the wider world again (beyond the local park and gritted teeth trips to the indoor play centres). But I still wasn’t doing anything for myself and I was moaning more and more about how much energy it took to raise three children and how narrow my world view had become. The daytime was kid focused which meant anything I wanted to do for me (creative pursuits; parenting classes - where I learned to try and control the uncontrollable; conversations without kids over dinner, inevitably about the kids over wine) all had to be at night when the kids were in bed and the 15th load of washing for the week was spinning.
Which brings us to Kin & Kind... giving parents permission to look after themselves
This is exactly why we decided to start Kin & Kind, to give parents permission for self-care and the opportunity to nurture their body and soul during the daytime. It’s a positive way out of feeling like the dish and the spoon ran away without you, leaving the washing up behind. You are allowed to carve out time for yourself even if you have a precious little peep in tow. And in doing so, you signal to your children that everyone’s me-time is important and hopefully we create a generation of children who recognise the importance of self-worth, stepping off the treadmill and reconnecting with their inner passions.
Join us at Kin & Kind – you’re always welcome.